He was sittin' at the bar, sippin' on a regular Coke We were drinkin' and smokin' and makin' him the butt of our jokes We all said, "Man, what happened to you? Why can't you just have a few?" He said, "I would if I could, but it's probably best that I don't." 'Cause the more I drink, the more I drink Yeah, I'm the world's greatest lover and a dancin' machine I get loud, I get proud, and it gets worse Well, if I have one, I'll have thirteen Naw, there ain't no in-between 'Cause the more I drink, the more I drink A couple of cold ones, and somebody hands me a shot Hell, even buck-tooth and bow-legged women start lookin' hot And pretty soon I'm bummin' cigarettes, and sweet talkin' some big brunette Yeah, once I get on a roll, ain't no tellin' where I'll stop 'Cause the more I drink, the more I drink Yeah, I'm the world's greatest lover and a dancin' machine I get loud, I get proud, and it gets worse Well, if I have one, I'll have thirteen Naw, there ain't no in-between 'Cause the more I drink, the more I drink Yep, yep Hmm, that's what I'm talking about Man, if I have one, I'll have thirteen And they can't get me off the karaoke machine The more I drink, the more I drink Yeah, the more I drink, the more I drink, the more I drink