All right! Stop whatcha doin', cause I'm about to ruin The image and the style that ya used to I look funny - but yo I'm making money, see So yo world I hope you're ready for me Now gather round, I'm the new fool in town And my sound's laid down by the Underground I drink up all the Hennessy ya got on ya shelf So just let me introduce myself My name is Humpty, pronounced with a "umpty" Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee And all the rappers in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee I'm steppin' tall, y'all, and just like Humpty Dumpty You're gonna fall when the stereos pump me I like to rhyme, I like my beats funky I'm spunky, I like my oatmeal lumpy I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack But sometimes I get ridiculous I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice Hey yo fat girl, come here are ya ticklish? Yeah, I called ya fat; look at me, I'm skinny It never stopped me from getting busy I'm a freak, I like the girls with the boom I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom I'm crazy, allow me to amaze thee They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me I'm still getting in the girls' pants And I even got my own dance The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump Do ya know what I'm doing, doing the Humpty Hump Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'" That's all right cause I get things cookin' Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me But ya can't get near me I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B All the girls they adore me Oh yes, ladies, I'm really being sincere Cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed Big like a pickle, I'm still getting paid I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge Both how I'm living and my nose is large I get stupid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid I use a word that don't mean nothing, like looptid I sang on "Doowutchalike", and if ya missed it I'm the one who said, "Just grab 'im in the biscuits" Also told ya that I like to bite Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance And now I'm gonna do my dance The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump Do ya know what I'm doing, doing the Humpty Hump Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here Oh, yeah! Now that I told ya a little bit about myself Let me tell ya a little bit about this dance It's real easy to do--check it out First I limp to the side like my leg was broken Shaking and twitching kinda like I was smoking Crazy wack funky People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty That's all right cause my body's in motion It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion Anyone can play this game This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name No two people will do it the same Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain Humping, funking, jumping Jig around, shaking ya rump And when a doo-doo chump punk points a finger like a stump Tell him step off, I'm doing the Hump The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump Do ya know what I'm doing, doing the Humpty Hump Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doing the hump Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump Let's get stoopid!