You are such a jerk You are a tearjerker You don't need a girlfriend You need a social worker She's waiting at the airport You're in your hotel room With someone who doesn't know you Everybody always knew The game that you were playing You were fooling no-one So we're glad that you are paying But still she's gonna cry Yeah still it's gonna hurt her But you are a tearjerker Yes a tear jerk, yeah A tearjerker You're such a jerk, yeah These surfaces are shiny Anything wipes off them These surfaces are hard Nothing seems to mark them Breakfast ends at 10 AM Do you think we could be through by then? 'Cause breakfast is inclusive Do you think I'm stupid? I'm stupid I'm stupid You are such a jerk You are a tearjerker