Oh no, oh no Oh no, oh no no no Oh no, oh no Oh no, oh no no no Mr. Jones has a little problem If I had eyes I'd see that it was me He's the size of a man with the potential of a boy Not what God had made a child of His to be I'm afraid that he'll amount to all of nothing The joy of reading Yates he'll never know And in the rat race twirl of our computer guided world He stands no chance of winning let alone to place or show So lock him up Throw away the key, boys Mr. Jones is not like you or me Lock him up, tight 'Cause if he had the chance he might Show us that we're wrong and that's the one thing we can't be Oh no, oh no Oh no, oh no no no Mr. Jones wanted to be married It seemed like such a cute thing at the time Two peas in a pod Two of a kind They'd never have to ask each other, "What is on your mind?" It seemed a simple way to make him happy And happy's such a simple way to be And if they kept to themselves like two books upon a shelf The kind you judge by the cover and never take the time to read So lock 'em up And throw away the key, boys The Joneses, they're not like you or me Lock 'em up, tight 'Cause if they had the chance they might Show us that we're wrong and that's the one thing we can't be Oh no Mr. Jones and Mrs. Jones We're elated to inform you Though you've failed to meet the standards We've a place where we'll reform you It's a ways outside of town But the distance has its uses Close enough to make the effort Far enough to make excuses Lock 'em up And throw away the key, boys The Joneses, they're not like you or me Lock 'em up, tight 'Cause if they had the chance they might Show us that we're wrong and that's the one thing we can't be Oh no, oh no Oh no, oh no no no Mrs. Jones wants to have a baby She says that as a woman it's her right, oh ho Yes we tried to tell her I guess that she forgot When she and Mr. Jones were at the doctor's, tied the knot Why can't she just be happy in her own world And we can all be happy here in ours And we can still help out Even go as far as to stop off at the Safeway drop some pennies in the jar So lock her up Throw away the key, boys Mrs. Jones is not like you or me Lock her up, tight 'Cause if she had the chance she might Show us that we're wrong and that's the one thing we can't be So lock 'em up And throw away the key, boys The Joneses, they're not like you or me Lock 'em up, tight 'Cause if they had the chance they might Show us that we're wrong and that's the one thing we can't be Oh no, oh no Oh no, oh no no no no Oh no, oh no Oh no, oh no no no no Hey