What a drag it is getting old "Kids are different today" I hear ev'ry mother say Mother needs something today to calm her down And though she's not really ill There's a little yellow pill She goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day "Things are different today" I hear ev'ry mother say Cooking fresh food for a husband's just a drag So she buys an instant cake and she burns her frozen steak And goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper And two help her on her way, get her through her busy day Doctor please, some more of these Outside the door, she took four more What a drag it is getting old "Men just aren't the same today" I hear ev'ry mother say They just don't appreciate that you get tired They're so hard to satisfy, You can tranquilize your mind So go running for the shelter of a mother's little helper And four help you through the night, help to minimize your plight Doctor please, some more of these Outside the door, she took four more What a drag it is getting old "Life's just much too hard today" I hear ev'ry mother say The pursuit of happiness just seems a bore And if you take more of those, you will get an overdose No more running for the shelter of a mother's little helper They just helped you on your way, through your busy dying day