Last night the sky's turned purple and Past lives in light tunnels Light tunnels In the back of a town car, staring at myself in a tux Maneuvering through the people out front Police barricade, orange cones and we're stuck Twenty minutes late and my manager blowing me up Security guard in the garage at the entrance Rolled down the window and showed him our credentials [?] flash the pass and he let's us continue Metal detectors, phone booths and reception I should be grateful this my nine to five I walk into the green room, alright, alright I get on Youtube tryna learn how to tie on my tie Fuck it, I'll wear the bolo tonight, night, night I probably shouldn't have done the drugs I've done A couple of days ago, detox son I forgot my belt at the hotel Fuck, now my team all scared my [?] sucks I need something to cope, ain't nothing to cope I eat a banana and I drink a cup of throat coat I wish I had the homies with me here but nope Most of the artists that I know don't get invited to this show Because success to them determines our value The make-up, the power, the hairspray, perfume, make-up and powder The ratings come down to who's popular now in the song in the hour Knock at the door, I let them in, hair and make up now, red carpet in ten She covers up my freckles, concealer on my chin I look orange but she swears it looks natural with my skin The show is starting, they take me to my seat Walk in the arena building, ego of elites Like the whole industry is staring at me A row away from Taylor, two away from Jay and B Last night the sky's turned purple and Past lives in light tunnels Light tunnels So that's who we are Just like the stars Shine your light on Shine your light on Curtain opens up, host walks out We stand in unison and applaud real loud I watch the other people that have been around for a while Just excited I got invited, feeling cool in the crowd Thinking such and such is bold, look at such and such's gold Damn, such and such in real life, looks really fuckin' old Such and such is fine, she's with such and such, oh I'm here but I'm barely even watching the show Cause tonight we toast to our accomplishments Insecurity dressed up as confidence I said tonight we toast to our accomplishments Insecurity dressed up as confidence An award is given out, commercial, re-set the scene They keep saying "coming soon is the Biebs" Watch celebrities take selfies with celebrities It feels so make believe They want the gossip, they want the drama They want Britney Spears to make out with Madonna They want Kanye to rant and to go on longer, cause that equates to more dollars They want talking topics, they want trending topics They want outfits to be outlandish, they want sideways glances Beef and problems, they want nipple slips Cause they live for clips, this is economics So we Botox our skin and we smile for the camera Might as well get a new nose while we're at it This is America and insecurity's our fabric And we wear it and we renamed it fashion I look to my right, there's a cameraman snapping Picture after picture after sister after sister Of the line of Kardashians, mind so distracted Realized there's an ovation and everyone's clapping Last night the sky's turned purple and Past lives in light tunnels Light tunnels So that's who we are Just like the stars Shine your light on Shine your light on It's just weird when the camera's on you Gotta remember to still clap if I lose I see myself on the screen Split into five different artists on TV And just look normal, don't get turned into a meme Relax, breathe Me There's a stranger holding my award I give her an awkward hug she says "It's yours" Think I'm supposed to kiss her on the cheek Man, I should have prepared an acceptance speech Do I talk first? Is it Ryan? Is it me? Fuck it, I'll take the lead, grab the mic, say my piece Do I look at camera one? Do I look at camera three? I promise, I'm honored, I'd like to thank God, my momma and father I'd like to thank Trisha, the mother of my daughter I couldn't have done it without you all in my corner Especially the fans, been here since the beginning Supported the music, allowed us to be independent And I know, I shouldn't be long winded Wait hold up, don't play the music let me finish This feels so narcissistic Dressed as a celebration to conceal it's a business Me, me, me, my my image My, my songs, my self interest One big reality show that is scripted And I could keep trying or get out the competition I rather run out of my fifteen minutes than have life Pass me by and I forget to live it But, that doesn't mean retirement But I don't like who I am in this environment I forgot what this art is for I didn't get through freshman year to get out as a sophomore Here I am in this arena, yeah I'm scared I got the people's attention don't want to lose it here Thinking about my career, miserable here But wanna make sure I'm invited next year To the same damn party, celebrities on isle Same blank stares, same fake smiles Same big budget production I know now who I am when the lights go out and it falls down And the curtain closes, nobody notices Wanted to throw up the Roc, wanted to be Hova Wanted to be Wayne with the accent from the NOLA Thought I'd feel better when the award show was over But I guess I showed up late Almost got cut off when they closed the gate Just in time, what will I say? Time to explain this unruly mess I've made But I guess I showed up late Almost got cut off when they closed the gate Just in time, what will I say? Time to explain this unruly mess I've made