It's a god-awful small affair To the girl with the mousy hair But her mummy is yelling "No" And her daddy has told her to go But her friend is nowhere to be seen Now she walks through her sunken dream To the seat with the clearest view And she's hooked to the silver screen But the film is a saddening bore For she's lived it ten times or more She could spit in the eyes of fools As they ask her to focus on Sailors fighting in the dance hall Oh man! look at those cavemen go It's the freakiest show Take a look at the lawman Beating up the wrong guy Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know He's in the best selling show Is there life on Mars? It's on Amerika's tortured brow That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow Now the workers have struck for fame 'Cause Lennon's on sale again See the mice in their million hordes From Ibeza to the norfolk broads Rule Britannia is out of bounds To my mother, my dog, and clowns But the film is a saddening bore 'Cause I wrote it ten times or more It's about to be writ again As I ask you to focus on Sailors fighting in the dance hall Oh man! Look at those cavemen go It's the freakiest show Take a look at the Lawman Beating up the wrong guy Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know He's in the best selling show Is there life on Mars?