Read it in the paper Marked the date on the wall To remind myself to celebrate The day I lose it all They made plans to be together I made plans to be alone She got a rock I'm gettin' stoned Damn right I've got objections But it's awful too late now Yeah, the cans are on the limo And the rice is on the ground They're headed for the islands But hell I'm already gone She got a rock And I'm gettin' stoned Here's to happy ever after And here's to balls and chains And here's to all us haters Of old lovers new last names And here's to holdin' up And gettin' right where I belong She got a rock I'm gettin' stoned Yeah I knew that it was over When I heard those wedding bells That preacher was my jailer Now this bottle is my bail So much for all that prayin', Her I do would be I don't She got a rock I'm gettin' stoned Here's to happy ever after And here's to balls and chains And here's to all us haters Of old lovers new last names And here's to holdin' up And gettin' right where I belong She got a rock I'm gettin' stoned So to hell with her and him And the white horse the rode out on She got a rock I'm gettin' stoned Yeah she got a rock Ha ha ha I'm gettin' stoned Yeah I'm gettin' stoned Yeeaahhh come on