It's Christmas Eve And I've only wrapped two fucking presents And I'll never talk to you again Unless your Dad'll suck me off I'll never talk to you again Unless your mum will touch my cock, I'll never talk to you again Ejaculate into a sock, I'll never

'Neath the neon cross and a string of Christmas lights It's good to be back again, oh, me and my old friends Jesus and Elvis, painted on velvet Hanging at the bar here every night Lola built this joint in sixty-seven And her boy went out to fight on

I don't want a lot for Christmas More than you could ever know I don't care about the presents Underneath the Christmas tree I just want you for my own Make my wish come true Baby, it's you There is just one thing I need All I want for Christmas is you

Carolers singing Sleigh bells are ringing It's that time of year Everyone's toasting Chestnuts are roasting Christmas time is near Something's missing and I'm wishing Wishing that you knew How much it would mean to spend this

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas The sun is shining, the grass is green The orange and palm trees sway There's never been such a day In Beverly Hills, L.A. But it's December the twenty-fourth And I'm longing to be up north Just like the ones I used to