I work down at the Pizza Pit And I drive and old Hyundai I still live with my mom and dad I'm 5'3 and overweight I'm a sci-fi fanatic Mild asthmatic Never been to 2nd base But there's a whole another me That you need to see Go check out Myspace 'Cause online I'm down in Hollywood I'm 6'5 and I look damn good I drive a Maserati I'm a black belt in Karate And I love a good glass of wine It turns girls on that I'm mysterious I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious 'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way Chat with two women at one time I'm so much cooler online So much cooler online I get home, I kiss my mom And she fixes me a snack I head down to my basement bedroom And fire up my Mac In real life, the only time I've Ever even been to L.A. Was when I got the chance with the marching band To play tuba in the Rose Parade Online I live in Malibu I posed for Calvin Kline, I've been in GQ I'm single and I'm rich And I got a set of six pack abs that'll blow your mind It turns girls on that I'm mysterious I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious 'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way Chat with two women at one time I'm so much cooler online Yeah I'm cooler online When you got my kinda stacks, it's hard to get a date Let alone a real girlfriend But I grow another foot And I lose a bunch of weight every time I log in Online I'm out in Hollywood I'm 6'5 and I look damn good Even on a slow day, I can have a three way Chat with two women at one time I'm so much cooler online Yeah I'm cooler online I'm so much cooler online Yeah I'm cooler online Hey, I'm cooler online (Yeah he's cooler online) I'm so much cooler online I'm so much cooler online (Yeah he's cooler, yeah) Oh yeah