Here's my keys, I want you to take 'em I think I'm gonna need you to get back home Hold on to my hat, I don't wanna lose it I couldn't stand for something else to be gone I'm sure you know the reason I'm here cryin' I think you'll understand why [Chorus] Tonight, I'm the designated drinker I just lost the one that wrapped me around her finger I need to get to where I can't think of her So tonight, I'm the designated drinker I came here to get you to help me I need a friend to see me through I hated to call, I knew you wouldn't mind at all I know you know I'd do the same for you I'm not the kind that likes to drown my sorrow I may hate myself tomorrow Oh but [Chorus] We need to get to where we can't think of her So tonight we're the designated drinkers Oh tonight, we're the designated drinkers